sexxxxxy time after the 13.1 mile death march
This spring, I must have been wasted or something, but I decided to do a half marathon, by myself. The training started out fine, but when it came to the long runs, I just found other things to be doing. I mean, my schedule had them on Saturdays. If I’m not hungover, I’m pretty sure that I have better things to do on a Saturday afternoon, like go out to lunch or go shopping or go to the lake or go on a trip or reorganize my pictures or do laundry or paint my nails. Duh.
Anyway, the race comes, and not surprisingly, I start getting tired around mile 7 (shockingly, I only ran 7 miles in training, oops). The first half of the course is a loop and the second half of the course is an out and back. So at about mile 8 of 13.1, I think, hmm, maybe I’ll just turn around? Skip a mile? This whole running thing is getting kind of old. Why not? Who cares? Nothing is on the line here….
Except that the only reason I decided to run this damn race is that I wanted to just prove to myself that I could do it. I set out to accomplish something, and I wanted to accomplish it. If I quit, it was on me. If I succeeded, it was me. At that point, it didn’t matter how smart or fun or cute or witty or skinny I was; it just mattered if I had the fortitude to fight for myself. So I mean, I just kept running.
I’ve always been a goal setter. If I don’t have a vision in sight, it’s hard for me to charge forward. In the past, my goals were always lofty but attainable. But more importantly, they were finite.
I want to get all A’s. Ok, well, I got all A’s and an a couple of A-. Fine, I gave it my best. I want to letter in this sport. Ok, done. I want to get into this college. Ok, this one I did, this one I didn’t. I want to win student body president. Check. I want to bag that hottie. Done and done. And done again, but whose counting?
What about, I want a great boyfriend? I want a great job? Great friend? Great family? I want to be skinny? **crickets**
Oh, I have to work for it, then MAINTAIN it? For that man, I have to seduce him. Then we have to always work on our relationship? My future husband and I will be working towards a great marriage til one of us dies? To be skinny, I have to adapt a healthy lifestyle? Hmm, that sounds harder than running 5 days a week for 3 months.
The thing about growing up is our goals grow up too. We’re able to take in more and take on more. I have fantastic memories of occassions and incidents, but I’m guessing the rewards ultimately come from those things that take time and nurturing and dedication.
Those wise ones who make up inspirational quotes say that Success is Journey, not a Destination. Well in this case, being successful is being healthy and happy and the best me I can be. Hot damn. That sounds great if I can do it. So let’s not even think about the flip side of it.
So here we launch into my own little Eat, Pray, Love journey. Luckily I have my lovely A to go through it with me, the blogosphere to hold me accountable, and some great self-imposed incentives for when I reach milestones.
I can’t say that I won’t want to cut the corner on the next Half (October 30), but hopefully I’ll have been able to pass up the 2nd bread basket or the unecessary brownie, so my mental toughness and confidence in pursuing the ambigious life goals will be that much stronger 😉
xoxo,
V
Drawstring to G-String 
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