Archive | September, 2010


23 Sep

Last week, at my first WW meeting, our leader talked about staying positive through the weight loss journey.

She had a little chart equating weight loss to butter.  I can’t remember it, but I’ll give a rough estimate.  I liked it 🙂

If you lose .2 pounds (which I wouldn’t have even really counted as significant), that’s almost a whole stick of butter.  Think about taking a stick of butter off of your gut.  That’s kind of cool. 

If you lose .5 pounds, that’s 2 sticks of butter.

If you lose 1 pound, that’s 4 sticks of butter. 

So I mean, the little things add up, both good and bad.  I’m excited to see how much butter I’ve melted off (or maybe slapped on) of my bod.



how many sticks of butter equal an ass?



22 Sep

Expenses. I lose sleep worrying about them. Why does everything have to cost so much? And to that fact, why do I selfishly crave/need/want have so much stuff?? All this made me re-evaluate my finances since I’m moving into a new apartment in a week and a 1/2. When looking at my checking card/credit card statements (which I normally don’t do because I’m frightened to see what I spend money on) I realized that my spending habits directly relate to my weight- at least I think so. Let me explain.

oh booze...what you do to my wallet.

This past month a majority of my discretionary funds were spent on none other than BOOZE. Sad, but true. Such and such amount at this bar, such and such amount at that liquor store…and granted I’ve had my birthday party and some other parties where I needed to bring booze of some sort (I mean, it’s the best hostess gift you could ever get), but seriously self? I don’t need to spend a majority of my funds on you. Another culprit on the list is FOOD. I mean, WHY do I have to eat out so much? It’s not that I have to, but more that I want to, which I need to get under control. If all I do is drink and eat bad food, what else is left?

So after dissecting my spending habits, I realize that I need to re-prioritize my life. Make exercise a top habit (and I mean, I love being outdoors in the fall!) and do things that maybe do not require booze all the time. I can go out with my friends on a walk, rather than caloric happy hours. Go to a cool art gallery or free music show rather than pay $100 for Lady GaGa (who I’m dying to see, BTW). And I mean, I can just take some shots then head to the bar, right? I don’t have to buy shots or beers for people! I’ll just be less friendly in my “I want you to get to my drunken level so here’s a shot” way, and more friendly in my drunken self way.

Long story short, this journey is not solely about weight loss, but examining the person I am and making strides to accept the parts that are truly me and change the things that I don’t like- such as eating habits and spending habits. Life is so much more than this-  I want to just enjoy my friends and hobbies and not be hung up on this bullshit. So, I’ll keep plugging away, stay positive, and maybe get some ass?



The latest list

21 Sep

Last week, I had my first Weight Watchers meeting.  A ditched me, that piece of shit.  JK.  I had ditched her.  But now we’ve both gone to our first meeting and are ready to dive in.  I’m excited for the journey and look forward to blogging about it.

However, being the suck-up student I was, I feel it’s more important to work on my first (and only) assignment from the meeting, before I start spilling my feelings about it.

So, after the first meeting, the lovely leader, who had lost over 150 lbs on WW and kept it off for like 10 years, met with me.  She asked me why I was there and joining WW.  She then encouraged me to make a list of 25 reasons why I want to be there.  Most of the lists A and I make are of how many people we’ve boned, how many states we’ve boom-boomed in, you know, classy shit like that.  But, this is the meat and potatoes of the drawstrings to g-strings journey, so here goes:

1. I want to be skinnier than I am now, but I’m not unhappy or really unhealthy.  But, I DO NOT want to get any bigger.  So, I’m here to figure out a healthy lifestyle that I can carry with me.  Maybe that can count for 2 things.  We’ll see how this goes.

2. I never want to be obese.  Obese is an ugly word.  I’m technically not obese, but I am overweight.  Let’s make sure I NEVER get there.

3. I want my hot future husband to not have to settle for a non-hottie.

4. I want to confidently wear a bikini.

5. I want to be the hot friend, not just the fun or funny or nice friend.  I love being that friend, but I’m ok with throwing the hot one in there too 😉

6. I don’t want to turn to food when I’m stressed or sad.

7. Or on that note, to celebrate or reward myself.  I would like food to be something I enjoy, but doesn’t need to stress me out.

8. I want to run around the lakes in little spandex shorts or just a sports bra.

9. I want to be a yoga instructor as a side job, when I’m a teacher.

10. I don’t want my appearance or my weight to be my crutch as to what is “holding me back”

11. I want to wear clothes sizes that are only one digit.

12. I want to be proud of who I am.

13. I want to always love myself.

14. I want to turn heads when I walk into a room.

15. I want to run a half marathon under two hours.

16. I want to live an active lifestyle.

17. I never want to be out of breath after walking up stairs.

18. I don’t want a muffin top.

19. I want to wear low rise jeans.

20. I want to be able to sit on a man’s lap and not feel self-conscious.

21. I want to overcome an obstacle that I’ve faced my entire life.

22. I want to inspire a healthy lifestyle in those around me.

23. I want to have a focus and a reason for my actions (eating and exercising).

24. I want to make sure the world sees me as I see me.

25. I want to be the kick-ass sexy bitch I know I am.




21 Sep

i saw a beautiful, beautiful thing today. i was NOT motivated to go running and instead decided to go through more stuff for my big move coming up. i really REALLY regret it and don’t think i’ll skip running again any time soon. but to inspire me just that much more, i saw this video.

wow. talk about amazing. i want to make this video in a year!! to be inspired and just keep running until i love it and can’t go a day without it. already i’m feeling the connection and slight addiction to it which is great, but i want to run longer and harder and faster….i want to run this half marathon and be inspired to keep running, do another, and do better!!! so, keep your hopes up and just know that every little workout is helping you be HAPPY and get in shape (and feel good naked).



The Trough

15 Sep

I work in the bakery/deli department at a food distributor.  We don’t make the food, but we decide what to have available for our stores, what to feature, etc.

So, vendors always like to show us their new products.  As you can imagine, in a bakery/deli department, this includes (but is not limited to) cookies, cakes, cheesecakes, donuts, pies, brownies, breads, rolls, buns, muffins, scones, meat, dips, salads (mayo based, duh), crackers, chips, cheeses, buffalo wings, boneless buffalo wings, meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, green beans, stuffing, and that’s just off the top of my head…

These are then set out on a little counter in our department.  And by little, I mean, it’s probably 6 feet long and 3 feet wide.  The department is kind of set-up in a horseshoe shape.  This counter is right at the top of the horseshoe, next to the printer.  How convienent.  The other side of my wall is actually what the shelf is attached to.  How convienent, again.

We have fondly named this shelf, the trough.  Because we essentially just graze and feed all day long. 

Intially, it was hard to say no.  Then it got better.  But, let me tell you; on those long days when you’re ready to punch the next person who emails you a dumb question, the cheescake looks GOOD. 

The one thing about it, is it’s easier to say no to desserts when I’m out in real life, because I’m sick of them.  Want a donut?  No thank you, last week I had 5 in one day.  They were baked fresh an hour ago and iced right in front of my face.  This has been sitting out for hours.  I’m better than that.

Anyway, today we just have a couple of those roll cakes (it’s like a cake that has some sort of filling, rolled up, so when you cut a slice, it’s a delightful little spiral of let’s say, angel food cake and raspberry filling), and a couple of cheesecakes.

Anyway, the trough is one of my biggest adversaries in this little journey.  I’ll send updates when the selection is particularly good/bad.



The Tongue is the Strongest Muscle in the Body

15 Sep

I just counted, it’s been 9 years since I took a real actual hard-science class.  In college, my liberal arts science was psychology (with some sort of lab that I had to touch a mouse) and forensic science (I could probably make meth if I wanted).  But, those were in the days before I drank, so I’ll assume my memory will serve me well.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure in those early days of science, I heard somewhere that per square inch (or likely some fancy unit of measurement), the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body.

So I mean, when I run my mouth all day long, I’m actually just exercising.  Sorry for being interested in fitness. 

But, just like I do with all exercise, if it doesn’t result in some cool skill or makes my body hotter, what’s the point?  So below is a lil exercise to hone those skillz in the strongest muscle of your body.  Enjoy.

How to of the day —

How to Tie  Cherry Stem with Your Tongue




14 Sep

red as a tomato or purple as an egglant?

So, I have a tendency to give away EXACTLY how I’m feeling in an instant: blushing. It’s become an increasingly embarrassing problem for me; some cute guy comes to talk to me? INSTANT blush. Someone at work says a compliment to me? INSTANT blush. Someone makes me feel sheepish or stupid for something I’ve said? INSTANT BLUSH. You get the picture. It’s even more embarrassing when your coworkers know EXACTLY what to do to make you turn purple. Sometimes I can feel the blushing happen but other times I can’t, making it that much worse.

For example, just now my coworker Wayne came over to apologize for acting huffy when I was hounding him about an impending deadline for a certain project. I’m from the midwest- I don’t accept compliments and I never just accept someone’s apology, I have to say “oohhh no no it wasn’t your fault at all- it was mine” which is totally ridiculous in itself. Result? BLUSH. This time I could feel it- which usually means it’s a big bright red hot mess. Why can’t I control this blushing problem? Apparently it’s just how I’m made- but damn does it give away everything! Thank you, self, for blowing every covert male pickup operation and smooth “i’m not that into you but i really am so i’m trying to play it cool” game. Thank you for giving away my true midwestern feelings when I cannot express them myself. Sheesh.